Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
