this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
