yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
