nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You're a waste of cheezeits
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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