I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
