She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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