you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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