My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I came so hard my ears popped.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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