Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
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I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Enjoy the penises
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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