11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
