birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
