nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
