now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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