They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
