how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
