she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
