forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
