Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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