So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
