After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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