ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize