Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
