I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
