why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I want a musical about memes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
