Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
