I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
