your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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