She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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