Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
