The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
