You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize