Betty ford says i'm here all night
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
