Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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