I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I party with great urgency now.
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