my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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