Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
