omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize