You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
