I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
