Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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