I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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