They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
