it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
