How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
