u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
