im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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