dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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