Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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