what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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