you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
