do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
