And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?