Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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