My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.