Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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