I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
