...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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