Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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