He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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