Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ugly people sure do ruin things
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
