i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize