And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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