For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
