somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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