yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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