i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
