Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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