I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
