I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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