I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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