Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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