I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize