Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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