You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
