Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it glows. i had to have it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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