even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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